August 2009
Ask me Questions cause I'm bored and this is... →
Sorry Danny Bee I copied you.
Music For Cougars
The title of the new Sugar Ray album. At least they’re being honest? Eugh.
July 2009
Work Dialogue, vol. 3.
Patron: Can I have change for a five?
Me: Sure, what change would you like?
Patron: Five dollars worth.
Me: I meant did you want quarters in that?
Patron: I don't know. Do I need them?
Fans treated to full folk epic
Decemberists play Vogue Theatre July 22, review by yours truly for North Shore News.
sui generis \soo-eye-JEN-ur-us; soo-ee-\ ,...
1. Being the only example of its kind; constituting a class of its own; unique.
(emailed to me by my mother, telling me it applied to me. aw?)
“i love you and we will be okay.”
– Jessica House, via email. Love that bix.
Dear Brian Wilson,
I’d marry you if you move to Vancouver, so that you can get citizenship. Don’t even think about the logistics of the statement. YES/YES?
Stop BC Library Cuts! →
Library materials in whole or in part have been brought to you by an annual operating grant supplied by the province of BC. This grant is in jeopardy, despite a surge of public library use across BC. Visit this site and join the campaign to stop these cuts.
Re: PRIDE
Yesterday one of my friends called me out for not participating in the ‘festivities’ this year. For the record, I never have, and last year is the only time I’ve seen the parade. I know it’s about equality and that, but I just don’t really care to shake my ass in the street, high on rohypnol for three days in scorching heat, wearing nothing but a pair of Ginch Gonch?...
“To live life at the bottom, even if we’re at the top.”
– Nick Jonas, to 17 Magazine, on Life Mottos.
i should have mentioned
that those conversations were not with the same person. i guess that was obvious? or not, considering they both said “That Sucks.” people are fucking useless?
Work Dialogue, vol. 2
Patron: What time are you done tonight?
Me: We close at nine.
Patron: Well, what time are YOU done?
Me: Quarter after.
Patron: Why?
Me: Because I have to close the branch down.
Patron: Well, do you think you could have coffee at 9:30?
Me: No.
Patron: That sucks.
Me: Yeah. It does. Sorry.
Patron: Can I ask you why?
Me: (flustered/annoyed) Because I don't like drinks.
Patron: Well, you seem to like that grapefruit juice you have there.
Me: WELL I'M FULL NOW.
I need to work on my not awkward skills.
Work Dialogue, vol. 1.0
Patron: Can I ask you a personal question?
Me: Maybe?
Patron: Aren't you in Tegan and Sara?
Me: Um. Aren't there just... Tegan and Sara in that band?
Patron: Yeah.
Me: No. I am not either of them.
Patron: No, that's not what I meant. Are you in their back up band? Like one of the guys?
Me: ....No.
Patron: Oh. That sucks. You should be.
What does this even mean? I don't get it?
On Name Changes.
Something with a J? Something completely different? Would anybody even call me something different, even if it was a legal change? THOUGHTS?
Jess: I am so mad at you for that. Delete it!
JJ: But that video is so good. Everyone needs to see you as Eminem.
Jess: NO.
JJ: If I deleted it, it would be like depriving the world of something. Like, what if I had the cure to cancer? Should I get rid of that too?
Jill: Yeah, Jess would hate it if that made it.
“Something like, she’s 13 and her tits are real big? Or no, what was it?...”
– Amanda, on Vancouver summer sky train rides into the suburbs at 1am.
